David DeAngelo puts women on another kind of pedestal. Let me explain. Read between the lines of many of the things he says, in his programs, and in his newsletters. Look at what he is actually communicating. He is often times promoting empowerment with women from a position of disempowerment. He puts women on a pedestal by making them seem infallible and hard-to-reach. He says things like, “You must do this,” and “when women do this you must do that otherwise it’s game over.” He makes it seem like getting women is an obstacle course. This is what the seduction community commonly does, by the way. It justifies quirky female behaviour using various forms of flawed evolutionary psychology theory. It’s like saying that it’s okay for me to steal, because I am merely playing out my self-preservation instinct. Yeah, right…

The Illusion Of Pedestals: Where Mainstream Advice Fails Men

So basically, anytime a woman does something, no matter what it is, it’s up to you to calibrate that for best effect. Constantly back to the drawing board... David DeAngelo teaches you to model yourself after what women want instead of modeling yourself after what you really want, and it just so happens that women are most attracted to this anyway. He has it totally backwards. First you get your own life in order, and learn to live happily WITHOUT women, and then you are able to accept women into your life with a much healthier mindset.

Understanding how to be what women want means authenticity is more powerful than game. When you act from your real self, you attract the right kind of connection—not just attention for attention’s sake. Modeling yourself only to please others always leads to a hollow victory.

Modeling For The Wrong Audience: The Trap Of Imitation

I went for two years without sex and meeting women, and I was perfectly fine with it. I focused on my own life and my own interests. And when it came time to get back into the dating scene I did so seamlessly. There was no loss of game, no rustiness. Because I focused on my own life, it was natural that offshoots of my life such as women would automatically be taken care of as well.

David D harps on the necessity of knowing how attraction works and how you have to “get it or you’re screwed.” But what HE doesn’t get is that a guy who is trying to model himself after what females find attractive is NOT being the one thing that women DO find attractive—a guy who doesn’t try to impress them. All he’s doing is teaching men how to emulate certain qualities that attractive men already have. He’s teaching you to display the symptoms without getting the actual virus. In this case, the virus is being your own man and learning to be happy without women. After going for two years without sex and learning to be happy without women I can safely say that I have the virus.

The Real “Challenge”: Learning To Be Enough For Yourself

And when the day came that I did hook up, guess what, it wasn’t even that special. In fact, it was on par with jerking off. You know that your neediness is taken care of when the prospect of sex is no more exciting than jerking off. David D constantly frames getting women as very important, by way of subtext. On the one hand he is teaching you to stop being a wussy—which is good—but on the other hand he’s teaching you to stop being a wussy because it turns women off. Getting women is the subtext behind everything he says. It’s a bit subtle but basically he puts the goal of positive change for the sake of getting women. So he starts off strong with good advice but then adds the final sticky as to why you should be doing it.

Exploring 10 lessons learned while being purposefully single reveals that becoming comfortable alone is the foundation for healthy love. Everything else is just a mask you wear—which always slips in time. Sustainable, honest growth comes from enjoying your own company, not chasing validation.

Lasting Progress: Life Beyond Attraction Techniques

Although you are removing the wuss behaviour technically speaking, you are still deep inside being a wuss who’s wearing a man costume. You will still be the guy who goes home after a sarge wondering how you could have made the man-costume more convincing. Not that there’s anything wrong with continuous improvement, but it has to be for the right reasons. The end result—you will still be needy for women. The core problem will still be there. You will not internalize anything truly powerful and long lasting using David D's advice.

The real problem with most seduction gurus: They assume women are higher up and you must climb the mountain to reach them. All these tools that men are taught on how to get women are basically ways of making it seem like you’re not using tools at all. In other words, climb the mountain without making it look like you’re trying to climb a mountain. But what’s the point of that? Just don’t bother trying to climb, or assume that you have to. Embracing this mindset is the secret to true happiness in a relationship—and in life. As the secret to true happiness in a relationship points out, self-worth and happiness can never be built atop anxious striving. They must be grown from self-sufficiency and self-acceptance.